Out of the Mouths of Mirrors

From time to time, my mirror speaks to me, taunts me, and occasionally, encourages me. I thought I’d share a few things that I’ve been hearing it say lately. (Also, be look for my “mind over moo tip of the day” at the bottom of this post.)

  • Are you planning on standing in that (very awkward) position all day? If not, than it’s probably not practical to wear that.
  • Okay, that thing you just did? That wasn’t sexy. Don’t do it again.
  • You do know that he married you, right? What are you so worried about?
  • Well, yeah, they aren’t sitting up as high as they used to, but it would look pretty silly if they did. (Please remember that you’re 34.)
  • Well, in your defense, dimples are kind of cute. No, I don’t guess they have to be exclusively your face . . . why?
  • You know that you can’t wear your ponytail that tight all day just so your face will look tighter. It will give you a headache. (We’ve been through this before.)
  • Get over it. Your daughter is going to be hotter than you. It’s okay. (It’s okay.)
  • BREATHE!!!
  • Yeah, well, it probably wouldn’t jiggle so much if you’d quit creeping into the bags of chips at night.
  • I’m about to suffocate from the self-tanner fumes. Would you please open the door? You do know that being tan doesn’t actually make you thinner, right? It’s just an illusion.
  • Remember that verse about being fearfully and wonderfully made? Yeah, that’s in the Bible, which is the Word of God, so . . .


mind over moo tip no. 1

STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN! I’ve noticed that my target calorie intake gets wrecked, not at meals, but when I’m in waltzing through the kitchen for various things. I’ll grab a cracker here, a cheesestick there, a spoonful of peanut butter, an oreo, a ribeye . . . you see where I’m headed with this.

Here are some suggestions to help you stay OUT of the kitchen and ON TARGET with your goals:

  • Plan ahead! This is especially hard for stay-at-home parents who are in and out of the kitchen all day grabbing things for the little ones, but if you make meals for the kiddos the night before, you can get them in the kitchen and fed more quickly. Less time in the kitchen means less snacking!
  • Make meals for the next day in the evening AFTER you’ve eaten a good dinner. This will keep you from snacking AND will help you prepare smaller portions. If you make meals while you are hungry, your eyes will be bigger than your stomach and you’ll make larger portions than you need.
  • Keep the food off the counters. It’s easy to leave cookie jars and bags of chips out on the counter, but keeping them out of sight will go a long way in fighting temptation.

About susancloud

Christ follower. Baby maker. Wifey. Producer of the Mark Davis Show. Musician. Lover of all things Bill Kristol.
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One Response to Out of the Mouths of Mirrors

  1. gusterbrown says:

    And keep healthy stuff in plain sight! My biggest problem with that type of thing is that I will buy veggies with the intention to snack on them…but if I don’t prepare them when I bring them home, they get stuffed in the bottom of the fridge and forgotten about. I try to cut them up and either keep them in an easy access container in the fridge or out on the counter. It’s easy not keep too much on counters at my house, though…if I don’t put it away, my dog will eat it. 😉

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